Sunday, October 20, 2013


What lies on the other side of closed doors? Well it is something you might never find out unless you open those doors. 

We all have those doors we have closed, locked and threw away the keys because of the pain it brings to have them open. It is a defense mechanism to automatically want to close a door on a broken heart, a dream that seems un-attainable and  sometimes who we truly are because of fear of rejection. I remember closing the door on my modeling career, because it just didn't seem like an honorable career path or attainable. That door has been opened now, in one way more than the other because today i am willing to pursue another dream even though it is not modeling. I gained my confidence back and i am aiming for the stars because no one can stop me but myself. Today i encourage you to open the door on that life long dream which involves dancing. That relationship with your best friend that's more than just friendship. That corny but happy self that people wish you would bring back. What lies behind closed doors? Well a life full of sadness and "what ifs". At any moment if you ever feel alone, don't forget God has not forsaken you yet and never will because his holding that door open for you.

Sunday, October 13, 2013

Was it a Lie?

I remember it like it was yesterday. That upcoming Monday two semesters ago was going to be my big day. I was going to walk down the promenade with my now best friends as a proud member of the "three musketeers". I remember letting them pick out my clothes the night before because i was too ashamed of what i considered a nice get up. I remember hating what they had chose but if i wanted to be looked at as i strolled down that promenade, i had to keep my mouth shut. That Monday as i walked down, i received so many compliments i wanted every day after that to be the same. That surge of happiness, was it a lie? Those compliments, were those lies? That fake smile on my face, was that a lie? YES! They were all lies, i had lied to myself about feeling comfortable in that tight skirt. I had lied to others about being a confident girl with no insecurities but what laid behind closed door was a young girl who just wanted to fit in. 

Today you need to ask yourself, WAS IT A LIE?

  • That cigarette you smoked
  • The overly dramatic make up you put on
  • The grade you received on your test
  • The cockiness in your walk
Tomorrow you need to answer this, WHAT LIES BEHIND CLOSED DOORS?

  • Loneliness
  • Happiness
  • Insecurities
  • Intelligence
  • Innovator 
  • Friendliness

Sunday, October 6, 2013

Three steps at a time!!!

I was bullied throughout high school, and that changed my life coming into college. Luckily i found friends that allowed me to explore my personality for what it truly was. I went through a phase where I stopped doing what made me happy to make others happy, meaning I lived a double life. It took a while, but I finally realized it is impossible to find genuine peace of mind unless you make it a priority. There are steps you can take towards not perpetrating others to help your self-esteem;    

  •  Not dressing to impress!
It is okay to look nice but it is also okay to wear sweatpants. If you wake up one morning and decide you don't feel like wearing a tight shirt you picked out the night before, that is fine. Many are so stuck on receiving compliments that they based their happiness on that. Comfort brings happiness and so does loose fitting clothes. 
  • Engage in activities that puts a smile on a face! 
Reading is one of my biggest passions. What's yours? What ever it is that puts a smile on your face, do it! Do not wait for others to live life trying to excite yours. It could be something someone might consider really weird or different but if it creates a spark in your heart every time you do it, go for it.

  • Find a place of contentment! 
This is a simple but difficult concept that sometimes people miss. Contentment can't be present if acceptance with one's self isn't present. You have to love yourself or what you have for what it is. If you drive a Honda 1999, then cherish that till you can afford a new one because God has blessed you. Jealousy is the root of evil and contentment is a step towards happiness. 
© DiariesOfKris

This site uses cookies from Google to deliver its services - Click here for information.