Friday, April 25, 2014

Friends Maybe?

 I don't know about you guys but i find it quite difficult to juggle a social life, work and school? Having to decide if i want to go out for drinks or finish my paper that was due last Friday is the toughest thing yet. I pick drinks!:) I just make sure i come back at a decent time to finish the paper. Who i'm i kidding? I DON'T.

As i woke up today, questions had been lingering in the back my mind for the past week such as can one remain friends with an EX?  It is possible to blossom a friendship after hearts have been broken? Can a friendship be resumed after mutually deciding to cease the romantic aspect of a relationship? I had had a long day but i was at peace with myself. I stopped waiting for the text message that never came because i realize it would never come. Our relationship was over and we ended on bad terms but why was i expecting him to reach out? I had ended things but part of me still hoped he would fight for what took years to build. That is often the case with girls, we tend to say things we don't mean because we are emotional creatures from heaven lol. I often say things i don't mean like i am going to the gym after lunch. I don't mean that! So when i said "never text me again", i didn't mean that. He didn't know i didn't mean that so i waited for the text message that never came. As i was getting ready to get in the phone rang and the message came. His name showed up on my phone and i couldn't believe my eyes. I was pissed off at how long it took him to reach out but my heart skipped a beat. I should not be moved by this, so i told myself but i was doing my happy dance because i still cared.(By the way every girl has a happy dance, mine looks extremely awkward lol).  As much as i told myself i didn't care, my body failed me every time reacting the way it did to his name appearing on my screen. That's when i first knew i couldn't offer him a friendship. My heart skips beats because of what i feel for him. My heart doesn't skip beats everytime Joseline, Talaya, or Brandon texts me. My heart sure as heck doesn't skip beats when Jacky texts me.  If it did, i would be dead from a heart attack. I kept my composure, rolled my eyes and replied even though i was tap dancing on the inside. We exchanged messages back and forth about what happen and why it happened. He came to the conclusion that he wanted to be friends, but that's the thing. Men always want to remain friends because they are oblivious to women's emotion. Women only accept to remain friends because they believe eventually "we are going to get back together". I didn't want that, and if i did i made myself believe i didn't. It was different for us because we had built a friendship before anything sprung off. We had learned so much about each other that we valued each other's opinion on things so simple as food choices to career paths. I tried numerous times to cut it off because i didn't know what i wanted from us communicating. We often don't realize it but we have two choices; Either we are in-love with someone  or we are just a friend. I am here to tell you guys about the two choices; either you fall out of love and focus on a friendship or you get back together based on how much love you still have for one another. Eventually my heart stopped skipping beats when he texted me because the attraction was turning to dust. Eventually i was going to meet someone else and forget to text back because that's what i do when friends text me. Eventually he was going to meet someone who wasn't going to be okay with him texting his ex-girlfriend. No matter what my dear friends, don't be sad because it's over, be happy because it happened. I'm happy it happened. So friends maybe? for now yes......but remember we have two choices. What's your choice?

P.S my crush is going to be in the U.S.A in May. Ecstatic is an understatement. Maybe i should tell you guys about how we met? *bites fingers*

Xoxo Christane

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